Thursday, October 25, 2012

Change begins (and sometimes ends) with me

Ok y’all, so this is not a weight loss post…BUT, it covers an area that I’ve been struggling with lately. Since my goal is to be healthy physically, spiritually and emotionally, I thought I’d share it. After all, happiness isn’t just based on what the scale says right?  =)

Lately, I’ve been dissatisfied with a few things in my life. Ok, I know that I should count my blessings, and I know that I’m “blessed and highly favored”, (and believe me, I subscribe to all of the “positive” and “Christian-ese” phrases out there.) But the fact remains that I’m human, and people/things/jobs/ (did I mention people?), will eventually cause some level of anger, frustration and disappointment in this thing that we call life.

At times, I admit that I’ve allowed the anger, disappointment, and frustration I’ve felt towards people (and situations) to wreak havoc on my attitude. At times, the weight of these emotions had been so heavy, that it felt like they were crushing every bit of positivity, happiness and faith that existed within me (which left me feeling miserable and convinced that things would never change.)

Recently, I took time for some much needed “self-talk” and gathered up enough courage to ask myself a difficult question:

“How many times are you going to get angry at the SAME people for doing the SAME STUFF they always do?”

When was I going to wake up and realize that my expectations don’t cause anyone to change…that my feelings won’t cause anyone to change…and, that my emotions definitely won’t cause anything to change. Truth be told, people change when they’re good and ready, and for the sake of my sanity (and well being), I have to learn to be ok with that.

So, in an effort to make peace with the unpleasant things in my life I’ve decided to stop focusing on the “offenders” (the other person(s)/thing(s)), and work on the offended (me). No more doing things to purposely “teach people a lesson”. I’m now focusing on what I can do to make things better for me–whether things change or not. I realize that it’s up to me to manage the way I react to life’s difficulties, so that someone else’s problem doesn’t one day become my ulcer. I’m not here for that.

The goal is to allow people to be who they are, while I treat them with compassion, mercy and grace…the tough part is being able to pull this off in spite of the way I’m being treated. No, this doesn’t mean that I’ve decided to become the world’s doormat, but it does mean that I’m using the power of God’s real love to change me, which ultimately makes every situation better. Love never fails.

The excerpt below is a beautiful description of the type of love I strive to give. Despite what we see on TV, or what some misinformed Christian has shown or told us, this is what real, genuine Godly love looks like. The quote is taken from the Bible. There are tons of different translations of the Bible, and this particular one is called “The Message” (a.k.a. super simple plain English version). Enjoy!

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.”

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-10

P.S. **Weight Loss updates will be posted next week!**


  1. HI! this post speaks directly to me. Thank you for saying it. I need to do the same thing and you put it so it fits me and my life. thank you, It helps to see it and read it. I just found your blog thru Blogher's naplopomo for nov.12. I've signed up too and I need to lose weight, congratulations on your 10 lbs that is wonderful. take care and thank you, Diana

  2. Hi Diana!
    Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. It feels great to know that something I've written has left a positive impact on someone. Wow. You totally made my day =).

    I think NaBloPoMo is going to be tough, but I'm so excited to see where an entire month of daily blogging will take me. I'm even more excited to be able to connect with bloggers across the globe. BTW, I love your watercolors. I tried them a few years ago, and they have to be one of the most difficult mediums. You truly have a gift =)

    Be encouraged, and please keep in touch!